Anyone reading this who actually knows my grandmother probably thinks she is a kind, sweet woman. I'm here to tell you different: She is an enabler. An enabler of the worst kind. I know this seems harsh, but let's look at the facts, shall we?
As reported on this blog, I went to Webs last week. My grandmother (a knitter) knew this and urged me to call her when I got home. Being the wonderful granddaughter I am, I did just that. I shared with her the wondrous experience we'd had at the Yarn Bonanza That Is Webs. I told her everything I'd bought, and I shared with her that, per my usual m.o., I'd spent way more money than I had intended.
Then, on Friday night, do you know what she did? She called me and invited me to go with her to Webs the next day. And she did so, knowing full well it was the last day of their Fantastic Sale. My response? Considering I knew I was already over my yarn budget for the month? And taking in the fact that Jen and I swore to go on yarn diets the minute we returned from Webs last weekend? What did I tell Grandma? Come on, this is Webs, people. Of course I told her I would go, but I promised myself I would only buy a little more CashSilk. Just a skein or two, to make sure I had enough for the Swingy Tank I want to make with it. Plus, I reasoned with myself, Grandma had never been to Webs before and she would need someone to "show her the ropes" (or "the yarn" as the case may be). (Forget for a moment that last week was my first trips to Webs, and I went without a Webs Expert and I did just fine. I'll admit I was grasping at straws for a reason to go, but really I was trying to rationalize my second trip to the Knitting Mecca in less than two weeks. Cut me some slack.)
So, yeah, Grandma, her friend and I got to Webs, whereupon it is revealed to me that Grandma's friend (a life-long knitter) has Never. Made. Herself. A. Sweater. Never. I quickly set about rectifying this, plying her with the nicest, softest wool I could find, convincing her she could do it and making sure she had enough yarn for the pattern she chose. While she was deciding on a color, I went to look for the CashSilk. Webs, it turns out, didn't have any left in the color I had already bought, which was fine (really, I probably already had enough at home. I was only buying more to be on the safe side). I decided, in light that discovery, that I could allow myself to buy a small amount of another yarn. Enough to make a hat, or maybe some Fetchings, but no more. I was disciplining myself. Of course I could walk out of Webs with only a skein or two. Knitting doesn't control me that much.
At this point, I lost complete track of what happened. I do vaguely recall debating between some Araucania Nature Wool at $4.99 for 240 yards and Elsebeth Lavold Classic AL at $3.49 for 109 yards. I remember leaning towards the Nature Wool, because while it was not quite as soft as the other (which is a wool/ alpaca blend), it was definitely the more economical of the two. I also sort of remember my Grandmother pushing the alpaca on me (See? I told you she's an enabler). The next time I was fully conscious was when I was leaving the store. With enough of this
to make myself a Central Park Hoodie. What can I say? I am a weak, weak woman and the combination of being at Webs and having a willing Yarn Pusher at my disposal was just too much. I succumbed to all that is Woolen. But at least I'll get a hoodie out of the deal!!
I feel, in the interest of full disclosure, that I should report that people in the area of the cash register at the time I was allegedly making my purchase have said that I, upon learning the Nature Wool was $3.49 a hank, not the original $4.99 I thought, immediately bought two more hanks of it. All I can say is I have 7 hanks of it all together. I have no idea if the reports of me "eagerly rushing back to the warehouse" and "running through the store squealing while triumphantly holding two hanks of wool above my head and humming the 'Chariots of Fire' theme" are true.
Also, to be completely honest... when I got in the car and came to my senses, I realized (somehow) two skeins of that CashSilk I had originally gone in for had made its way into my bag. And it was the right color. And the right dye lot. I have absolutely no clue what it was doing there, but I thought it best to bring it home and show it some love. Gracious of me, I know.
Anyway, there you have the reasoning behind my allegations regarding my grandmother. Clearly, all my yarn buying was her fault. I have no responibility in the matter whatsoever.
The rest of my day went like this: After Webs, Hubby and I met some friends at a local gaming store so he could buy some Dungeons and Dragons stuff. This means two things. First, I immediately felt less guilty about bringing home more yarn, as it is common knowledge that Hubby has way more for D&D than I do for knitting. Second, having gone to both the Knitting Capital of The World and The Biggest Gaming Store in The State of Massachusetts in the same day, I am officially the biggest geek ever, which I kind of already knew. Still, it's good to have confirmation of these things.
And now, I would like to take this opportunity to express my eternal gratitude to my husband for taking care of Magic Baby twice so I could go to Webs. It was fabulous of him. He says he doesn't mind and he'd do it again in a heartbeat. He's so sweet like that! Btw, did anyone else hear a rumor that Webs has another sale around April...
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