Monday, February 11, 2008

how to induce heart failure

A Toddlers' Guide To Causing Mayhem
by Magic Baby

Step 1. Move playpen into position.

Step 2. Use playpen to climb on windowseat.

Step 3. Pause. Look back at Mom with expression of complete innocence.

Step 4. Undo safety latches on window.

Step 5. Unlock window.

Step 6. Open window wide; attempt to jump out.
(Fortunately Mom is there to stop you. This time.)

If you can accomplish all this before you are two years old, Congratulations! You will have successfully given your parent/caregiver a heart attack. You may now resume normal play.

Editor's Note: After repeated attempts on the part of Magic Baby to throw caution (and himself) to the wind, Hubby and I smartened up and wedged some PVC pipe in the window. Now it can't be open by anyone. I expect this solution will work for about a week, at which point Magic Baby will undoubtedly figure out how to remove the pipe. Possibly with a chainsaw.