Monday, January 5, 2009

a day in the life

January 5, 2009

Get woken up ridiculously early by Magic Boy, who insists that he needs to go to the library right now.

Nurse the baby while trying to explain to the boy that the library is closed (seeing as the sun has yet to rise) and that we'll go as soon as they open. Also, protect the baby from her brother's repeated displays of "affection."

Pop waffles in the toaster for Magic Boy and down a fortifying glass of coffee milk. (Mmmmm...)

Butter the waffles, throw a banana on the plate and give it to Magic Boy. Take the baby in the next room to change her. Discover her diaper has exploded.

Wrestle with an inhuman amount of poop. Look over to find Magic Baby next to the bassinet. Eating Girl Scout Cookies. (Where the hell did he find those? 'Cause I thought I'd looked everywhere for that box...) Tell him we are absolutely not going to the library until he finishes breakfast.

Eat breakfast. Change Magic Boy. Dress Magic Boy. Tell Magic Boy to eat so we can go to the library. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Dress the baby. Tell Magic Boy to eat so we can go to the library.

Play with the baby. Attempt to clean the house. Tell Magic Boy to eat so we can go to the library.

Change Magic Boy. (Two words, kid: potty training.) Feed the baby. Change the baby. Tell Magic Boy to eat so we can go to the library.

Consider taking a quick shower, but quickly realize how foolish that idea is, as I haven't even peed by myself in two weeks. (Why he feels the need to join me, I have no idea. It's not like it's inspiring him to use the potty or anything. Not that I'm bitter, of course.) Instead, opt for throwing on some clothes, sticking my head in the sink and brushing my teeth.

Realize Magic Boy has finished breakfast. (Finally.) Look at the clock and see that it's... noon.

Debate with self and decide that a Good Mom would feed her kids before dragging them out of the house. Debate some more and conclude that I want to be an aforementioned Good Mom (plus I'm a little lightheaded- did I eat breakfast?). Prepare lunch.

Eat lunch alone, as Magic Boy is not hungry. ("Momma, I just had WAFFLES!") Feed the baby. Change the baby. Look over to find Magic Baby next to the bassinet. Eating pretzels. (Seriously, I don't even remember buying those...)

Decide to forget the whole Good Mom thing and just get out of the house, even if it means dragging starving children, as I'm pretty much ready to scream and/or have a nervous breakdown and at least getting to the library- hell, even getting to the car at this point- would feel like a major accomplishment.

Realize Happy Baby (in a wonderful show of irony) is not at all happy, and is in fact crying. Find and put on Magic Boy's shoes and jacket while listening to the baby cry. Find and put on my boots and Jedi wrap while listening to the baby cry. Find and put on Happy Baby's Baby Surprise Snowsuit while listening to the baby cry. Realize she has outgrown it already and resolve to add a few rows to the button part. Take a picture of her in it to post on Ravelry (before it's too late) while listening to the baby cry. [That link takes you to my Rav project page for the snowsuit. Stupid Blogger won't let me add pictures right now.]

Grab the baby from the bassinet and hoist her to my shoulder. Hear a splatter. Look over to find that the baby has vomited. Spectacularly. All over her snowsuit. And the Jedi wrap. And my only clean pair of pants that fit.

Sigh in defeat. Cover my ears and tell Magic Boy we're not going to the library after all. Explain (over his wails) that I'm pretty sure they have a "pants mandatory" rule, that's why.

Sit on the couch with the two of them. Nurse the baby to sleep. Read the boy to sleep. Cuddle, and get some peace back. Some. Until they wake up, of course.